Moment of silence for all the people who will never see this joke because they blocked the word ‘Spoiler’.
nothing pisses me off more than the fact that 90% of women’s jeans have non-functioning pockets but baby clothes have proper pockets? what are babies carrying around that i’m not? baby wallets? fuck off
r u ever like damn i hate my body but then ur like life is an illusion i’m floatin around on a rock trapped in an orbit around a ball of flame in a vast & largely unknown universe where death is unescapable who gives a shit ???
"why didn’t you do your homework over the holidays?"
This is the best thing I’ve ever seen
On my tombstone please write “Not appreciating my puns when I was alive was a grave mistake”